Tuesday, June 3, 2014

On Becoming Babywise

As promised a while back, here is my official post on the Babywise method. I’m hoping that this makes sense as I’m multi-tasking right now- writing this post and well, watching Frozen. Because, who doesn’t spend their Tuesday night watching Frozen with their husband?

I’ll start off by saying that one of the most important things I have learned since becoming a mom is that there is no one “right way” to do things. This was a particularly hard lesson for me to learn because I am by nature a rule follower. I like there to be one set way for things to be done. Well, when it comes to kids, it just doesn’t work like that and that’s the beauty in parenting. When it comes to making major decisions for Holly, Kenneth and I typically spend a great deal of time talking it over, praying through it, and weighing our options. When it comes down to it, I try my best to do what I believe is the right thing for Holly and then leave it to the Lord. I know, no matter what my decisions may be, that the Lord is ultimately the caregiver and sustainer of my little girl’s life, and I have to rest in that. Sometimes, (like, hey, when should we start formula, what kind of formula, what kind of food, how many naps should she be taking………) it’s hard for me to take refuge in the Lord, but ultimately when I do, my heart rests easy and things always fall into place. We are never not cared for, and never have our needs not been met. Jesus has a pretty good track record if you ask me.

So, all that leads me to briefly filling you in our decision to use the Babywise method for sleep training. From what I’ve read, it seems that Babywise is either something people love or something people are really against. Either way, like I said, I do what I think is right for my kid and what works for us as parents. I am not saying that Babywise is the only right way to sleep train, but it’s what we did and I am living proof that it works. In a nut shell, Babywise is parent-directed scheduling of your baby. Your baby eats, sleeps, and plays on a structured schedule starting from about week one or two. In the most simple of terms it works like this: feed your baby, play with baby, and then put baby to sleep. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. The times that you feed are scheduled starting from every two hours to eventually every four hours. We’ve arrived at the every four hours and its glorious. I no longer feel like my life is controlled by my baby’s eating schedule. After the baby eats, you play. The time for play lengthens as baby gets older. Next, it’s time for sleep and then the cycle repeats. With Babywise you know pretty much exactly when your baby will eat, play, and sleep. It is predictable. I like predictable. Holly likes predictable. We sync well together. There is certainty room for flexibility, because let’s face it, babies have a mind of their own and things can change real quick. So, if baby gets hungry 30 minutes before they are “scheduled” to eat, you feed them. It’s not about making a baby be hungry or not sleep when they’re tired, you just learn to read your baby’s cues. There is a whole lot that goes into the Babywise philosophy, but it would take me forever to write about it, and it is much better put on this site if you’re interested. I have consulted the site many, many times in our journey. Anyway, what initially peaked my interest in Babywise was the claim that you can teach your baby how to sleep through the night at a very early age. I really love sleep. I have always been into sleep. I started sleeping through the night at two weeks old and have never turned back. So, I wanted to also instill this in my daughter. I’ll admit, mostly for selfish reasons of my own need for sleep, but also because I truly believe that a well-rested baby is a happier baby. So, we started Babywise with Holly shortly after she was born. For a while, I don’t know that I even knew that I was doing the method because for a few weeks, time was pretty fuzzy. I was in a haze, but when the fog lifted, we were incredibly intentional with the eat, play, sleep schedule. Holly started sleeping in five hour stints at night at about four weeks old, and then started sleeping through the night at six weeks old. She has slept through the night ever since. People always tell us that “we are so lucky to have a good sleeper”. My friends, we do have a great baby, she’s awesome if I do say so myself. But- we put in a good bit of hard work to get her to sleep through the night, it’s not really luck. At seven weeks old, we moved her to her own crib to sleep, out of our room. (I do have to fess up that this was by my husband’s encouragement, because I was very hesitant to do this.) This was another game changer because we then got a much more restful sleep and were even happier. So, that’s why we have gone with Babywise. We were dedicated to it, and it worked for us. Is it the holy grail of sleep training methods, probably not. Do I recommend it for new parents? Absolutely. I read the book “On Becoming Babywise” (ok ,I heavily skimmed the book) before Holly was born, and after she came I mostly consulted the blog referenced above. It’s a great method and we intend to use it with future babies. From what I’ve read, you can start it at any point in your baby’s life if you are having trouble with sleeping through the night. If you have questions or want further info. I’d love to help you in whatever ways I can. Happy Tuesday everyone, now back to Frozen…



Sunday, May 25, 2014

Overcoming Fears


About a week ago, we experienced an awesome parenting moment. It was a moment that moved us to tears as we watched our baby girl grow as a person and overcome a fear. For some reason, Holly recently developed a fear of bath time. One night she just didn’t want to get a bath and she let us know it. There were a lot of tears in the days to follow whenever bath time came around. We tried several different strategies from no bath at all to ditching the baby tub for the big tub. Nothing was working, she would just cry and cry and we felt defeated. Most of what I read about fear of baths was in older children, so I didn’t quite get a straight answer on what to do. But, I pieced together some information from what I did read and came up with a strategy. So, a week ago, I got the music going, got the big tub water temperature just right, put down a soft towel in the tub, and loaded it up with toys. Then, I got my bathing suit on and climbed in. Holly sat in my lap at first and we just sang and hung out. She whimpered, but that was nothing compared to the nights before. After a few minutes, she started to show interest in splashing. So, I slowly lowered her into the water and she starting having a hay day. She was cackling and loving it. Holly is a happy baby, but rarely laughs. It was such a sweet moment to see her take a risk and truly enjoy the reward. In that moment, she conquered her fears and just grew to be more a little more independent. I really can’t put into words how it felt as her mama to watch her take this step. It reminds me that sometimes it is the small steps that we take that can yield the most growth. Most of the time, it’s just a matter of taking that first step. I am confident that much like the pride I felt for my daughter taking this step, the Lord feels the same for us as we take steps in our growth with Him. Through the journey, He is ready to provide us with what we need to take those steps and guide us as we go. My family is resting in this right now as we face big decisions in the coming weeks and months (one being: we’re looking for our first house!). I read this verse today which struck my heart as I am reminded of how I need to trust in the Lord with my anxieties and fears: “And my God will meet all you needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19) The Lord meets all of our needs, no matter what they pertain to. Wherever we are, He’s been there too. Tonight, we’ll rest in that.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Some Thoughts on Mother's Day

The past few days I have been overwhelmed with thankfulness every time I look at my baby girl. Perhaps it is in the spirit of Mother’s Day coming up this weekend that I am more in tune with my gratefulness. Each day I find myself remembering my longing to be a mom mixed with joy in knowing that my prayer was answered. The truth is, I was already a mother before this year’s Mother’s Day. And, although we have never held our other babies or looked into their faces, they made me a mom. They helped prepare me to be the mom I am to Holly now. They helped make it possible for us to hold and see the face of our sweet baby girl today. I will not forget them as I celebrate Mother’s Day this year as their little spirits live deep in my heart.


The other day, Holly and I were dancing to the “toddler station” on Pandora, and the song “Peace Like a River” came on in the mix. The song pretty much sums up my feelings on motherhood. I have been overcome with peace like a river, love like an ocean, and joy like a fountain as I experience being Holly’s mom. So, this Mother’s Day is a testament to the Lord’s faithfulness in our lives- how He brought us our miracle baby, how He has sustained her, and allowed us to experience this life together. To all my mama friends whose motherhood was cut short too soon, I love you. I am praying for you. I pray that you are filled with peace this Mother’s Day. And, to all my mama friends new and “old”, grab those kiddos and give them a long hug and snuggle them up. Cherish them and remember what a gift each and every one of them is.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Growing Up

It’s 11:00pm and I’m way overdue for bed, but I still have some energy left in me. I will regret the decision to stay up late when I get my early morning wake up call also known as a sweet baby girl talking (loudly) to herself in her crib. But we are overdue for an update so here we go!

This has been a big week for baby girl. I can’t believe how much one little person can change and grow in just a short amount of time. I can’t believe that I have an almost six month old baby. Every day I am in awe of her. So what’s happened this week? Well, for starters we moved (finally) to a “four hour schedule” with a bedtime nursing. We’ve moved to formula, which has really helped her to stay full much longer (more thoughts on formula in a future post). She tried sweet potatoes for the first time this week and loves them. We have officially unswaddled both arms for nighttime sleeping- we stayed with one arm in one arm out for a long time. She had a growth spurt for a few days and today moved out of it.  We survived a 13 hour car ride to Florida and back. And lastly, she can sit up for a few seconds at a time by herself without any support! It’s been quite the week in baby world! I’m so proud of this little girl.


Tomorrow is Easter. I’ll admit that this Holy week has not been as full of intentional reflection and growth as I had hoped. But, while I was doing some chores tonight I was thinking over what we’ll be celebrating tomorrow- the death and resurrection of Jesus. Sometimes, I think it is easy to take this lightly and just get caught up in the “act” of Easter: get dresses, go to mass, open Easter baskets. But, then I got to thinking about what sacrifice was made for us. I think now, as I have my own child, I am realizing what a monumental act this was. It is not something to be taken lightly. It is not something to be remembered for a day once a year. God gave his son so that we may live. God gave his child. God gave us, me and you, his joy, his boy, his cherished son so that we may live. He watched Jesus grow up. He watched him eat different foods for the first time. He watched him sleep, and take trips. He saw every scrape, every tear, every laugh, and every smile. And He gave him up. For us. For me. For you. I don’t know that I can say that I could do that. And when I think about sacrificing my child and what that would be like, it wrenches my heart. I realize just how much God loves us to be willing to give Jesus for us. And so, I will not celebrate lightly this year. I will celebrate the Son that was given so that I may have life, and have it to the full. Happy Easter friends.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Fleeting Moments


I’m obsessive. I obsess about pretty much everything in my day to day life. I obsess over how much I obsess. As I write this, I’m thinking I should probably have my head examined, but there’s no time for that- I’ve got too much else to do. I could probably be safely labeled as an extreme over-thinker. I can’t go to sleep at night without knowing all the doors have been locked, my lunch has been packed, Holly’s outfit is picked out, my outfit is picked out, all of the stuff is ready for the sitter, there’s no laundry in the machine, the dog’s been taken out…and the list goes on. I thrive on “doing”.  As far as I know, I’ve always been like this- it’s just gotten worse as the years go by. (We’re talking- I used to organize the groceries in the cart when shopping with my mama, what kid does that?) I can’t relax until I know everything’s been done- something that drives my poor husband crazy. My day to day is structured, timed, and routine. I like order. I like control. I am bossy and I am organized. I like it that way- most of the time. However, there are moments when I break free and my mind is allowed to rest. Tonight was one of those precious moments. After a trying day, I was putting my precious baby girl to bed. She was feeling especially cuddly tonight, and after we said our prayers, I just sat and rocked her longer than my normally timed-to-the-minute self would typically allow. She just kept touching my face with her sweet little hand and staring me right in the eyes. It was like she was saying to me, “Mama, I know you are stressed. I can see it. But, you’re doing alright. I love you. Relax.” (I sort of felt like I was in that Johnson & Johnson commercial where the baby “talks” to his mom) That sweet little five month old girl spoke more to my heart with her tiny hand and eyes than any words could ever do. She reminded me that life doesn’t have to be robotic, and that we need to savor all of our moments, good, bad, stressful, organized, and unorganized- soak them all in because before we know it, the moment will just pass us by.