Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Fleeting Moments

I’m obsessive. I obsess about pretty much everything in my day to day life. I obsess over how much I obsess. As I write this, I’m thinking I should probably have my head examined, but there’s no time for that- I’ve got too much else to do. I could probably be safely labeled as an extreme over-thinker. I can’t go to sleep at night without knowing all the doors have been locked, my lunch has been packed, Holly’s outfit is picked out, my outfit is picked out, all of the stuff is ready for the sitter, there’s no laundry in the machine, the dog’s been taken out…and the list goes on. I thrive on “doing”.  As far as I know, I’ve always been like this- it’s just gotten worse as the years go by. (We’re talking- I used to organize the groceries in the cart when shopping with my mama, what kid does that?) I can’t relax until I know everything’s been done- something that drives my poor husband crazy. My day to day is structured, timed, and routine. I like order. I like control. I am bossy and I am organized. I like it that way- most of the time. However, there are moments when I break free and my mind is allowed to rest. Tonight was one of those precious moments. After a trying day, I was putting my precious baby girl to bed. She was feeling especially cuddly tonight, and after we said our prayers, I just sat and rocked her longer than my normally timed-to-the-minute self would typically allow. She just kept touching my face with her sweet little hand and staring me right in the eyes. It was like she was saying to me, “Mama, I know you are stressed. I can see it. But, you’re doing alright. I love you. Relax.” (I sort of felt like I was in that Johnson & Johnson commercial where the baby “talks” to his mom) That sweet little five month old girl spoke more to my heart with her tiny hand and eyes than any words could ever do. She reminded me that life doesn’t have to be robotic, and that we need to savor all of our moments, good, bad, stressful, organized, and unorganized- soak them all in because before we know it, the moment will just pass us by. 

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