"And We Will Never be the Same"
Often times I reflect on how our lives have molded and have changed after loosing our first two babies. I think a lot about how I am just not the same person. With the loss of each of our first two children, a small piece of me seemed to fade away too. I think on how I used to be more care free, more energetic, and overall more joyful. Trying for so long to have a baby wears you down and you’re not so care free, instead you’re more regimented and seemingly bogged down. But- in and through that- I’ve learned that time is precious. Now, I try to never waste moments with our precious miracle baby. And, although, I do think I used to be more spirited and filled with more joy- it was different. Now, I know a very different type of joy. It’s an authentic joy that truly only stems from the Lord. It’s being joyful when all odds are against you because God is for you. It’s feeling deep, wordless joy when you look at the face of the child God gave you in an answer to your endless prayers. It’s joy in knowing that though there are trials and times get hard and you feel like you’re at the end of your rope- hanging on by only a thread, that you are not alone. You are known. He knows your coming and going. Your tears will be wiped away, and joy comes in the morning. God is faithful in that. No, I will never be the same- and for that, I am thankful.
“Oh, for the glory of it all You are here with redemption for us all, so we may live…We will never be the same.” –David Crowder